With dreams of being an inventor, opportunist and eccentric elf Bernard D. Elf is made to feel a fool yet again when his innovative creation to bring back people's favourite Christmas memories back to life fails miserably. However he is then presented with the perfect opportunity to prove his worth, when Santa is kidnapped by the evil Neville Baddington, and his demanding mother Vera, who have their heart set on discovering Santa's big secret: how he delivers presents across the world in just one night. However Bernard knows how he does it, using a time travelling device to ensure all children wake up on Christmas morning with their presents under the tree. The elf decides to use this to his advantage, as he plans on going back in time and preventing the abduction from ever happening, and save Santa - and Christmas - for the entire world.

In this spoof of "March of the Penguins," nature footage of penguins near the South Pole gets a soundtrack of human voices. Carl and Jimmy, best friends, walk 70 miles to the mating grounds where the female penguins wait. The huddled masses of females - especially Melissa and Vicki - talk about males, mating, and what might happen this year. Carl, Jimmy, and the other males make the long trek talking about food, fornication and flatulence. Until this year, Carl's sex life has been dismal, but he falls hard for Melissa. She seems to like him. A crisis develops when Jimmy comes upon something soft in the dark. Can friends forgive? Does parenthood await Carl and Melissa?